‘Nipples for Jesus’

As summer kicks off and the Blue Bell ice cream recall is behind us, I have been forced to recall another Blue Bell incident. Just so you know, I love ice cream as much as the next person. However, I can’t eat it without glancing down at my nipples. Yes, I’m aware that this is weird, but there’s no one to blame but the ice cream man.  Read More

Shot glass to sippy cup

When did my shot glasses become sippy cups!?

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When did my shot glasses become sippy cups?

It happens to the best of us. We travel somewhere extremely cool, and we never want to forget the place. It’s where you striped down, got nekkid, let your hair go wild and did a few more things that would definitely tilt the scales to read, BORDERLINE INAPPROPRIATE. That magical, wonderful place helped you cross a milestone in your life. It does not matter what others think, all you know is you’re not leaving there without a few mementos. Screw the postcards…they just won’t do this time…you need something to hold in your hands. Something with a little more substance to it, something that will take you back and put a smile on your face when you close your eyes.

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‘My Man and his Nuts’

My hubby is easygoing…until you jack with his nuts!  

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Some people say he’s the most patient man they know because he lives with me. I’ve always told him he’s like an old soul, a true and gentle spirit.
However, as of late I’ve seen a different side of him. He has lots of charm and a laid-back persona until you start jacking with his nuts…

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‘VA-JAY-JAYS UNITE’

VA-JAY-JAYS UNITE…what’s that smell?
There’s something I’ve never understood. I have found it impossible to keep my mouth shut on the subject this time. My news-feed has been flooded lately with advice from doctor type men or coaches telling me how to keep a healthy vagina. At first I ignored the urge to push on the links but they kept coming like a bad case of bed bugs. Therefore, I had to see what advice they wanted to share.
I realize to some folks this topic is a sensitive one.
Therefore, I feel the need for a disclaimer here…

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‘NANA’

Our second granddaughter…just adorable!  Do you remember…that moment when you found a stash of candy or chocolate hidden deep within the darkest corners of your bedroom?  That secret place that no one could find?  That hard to get too place filled with precious nuggets of creamy goodness?

Now… remember that you forgot where that was?!  Oh the insanity, the agony, the shear horror, knowing that somewhere very near was your salvation.  Pure heavenly bliss in a wrapper…mmm!  If only you could find it!

Seductive Hairpins

SEDUCTIVE HAIRPINS.

How could I have known…this innocent looking hairpin could send me straight to hell!

There’s something deep within the soul of a person who’s been exposed to Pentecostal roots, or any Southern hardcore religion, for that matter. One soon develops a passion to do what’s right and pleasing in the sight of God. Some people have dreams, visions and, dare I say, ‘déjà vu’ regarding which path to take. Nothing wrong with that unless you are trying to shove that path under someone else’s feet.

Just a gentle nudge will do…

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Jesus, Mama and Weed

Jesus, Mama and Weed

I was thinking back a few days ago about the time Mama introduced me and my sisters to weed on her quest to find Jesus.
“I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT,” Mama would be yelling right now if she were in front of me. “YOU BETTER NOT WRITE THAT SH*%# DOWN! DO YOU HEAR ME…T’LOUISE?”
Yep, she’d be having what’s referred to as a genuine hissy-fit, waving her finger all up in my face.
But since she happens to be miles away at the moment…I can’t help but smile.
After all, I am my mama’s daughter…

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